Accused High School Shooter Posted Clues on Facebook. Who Was Listening?

The first day of school at Perry Hall High School in Baltimore County, Md. turned tragic when a student opened fire, critically wounding another student in the school cafeteria.

Police have charged 15-year-old Robert Wayne Gladden Jr. with attempted first degree murder and first degree assault. He's being charged as an adult and held without bail.

Luckily, a school official was able to wrestle the gun from the shooter before he was able to hurt anyone else. But where were officials, adults, even friends, before the shooting?

Gladden, a sophomore at the school, posted "First day of school, last day of my life" on his Facebook page before heading to school on Monday.

Surely a red flag — if someone had seen it.

As a parent, what do you do when you see a story like this? It's easy to say "not my kid." But the reality is, this could happen to anybody's child.

Teens use social networking to keep up with their friends, post photos, chat, and very often, overshare. It's up to adults to teach good judgement, to talk about privacy, and show their kids what behavior is appropriate online.

More importantly, they need to be aware of what their own kids are doing — and that means checking their Facebook page.

As one mom posted to Facebook in the aftermath of the shooting: "Parents — pay attention to your kids! Monitor their Facebook pages! Know their friends! Get them help if they need it! Maybe someone could have prevented today's incident at Perry Hall if they paid closer attention."

So how do parents so that? Dr. Sylvia Rimm, psychologist and director of the Family Achievement Clinic tells Mashable start when kids first get involved in social media. "Parents can insist that they are also friended.

"In early adolescence, kids don't usually mind their parents checking their Facebook pages from time to time. If parents check without commenting, they can be alerted to any strange people writing inappropriate comments."

Rimm says that's not always easy, especially with older kids: "Unfortunately, if kids want to hide their social pages from their parents, they will figure out a way to do that." She says parents may need technological assistance if they are concerned.

One teen raised an important question in her Facebook response to the shooting, regarding Gladden's "last day of my life" update. "I am sure we have all seen friends' statuses that were similar … how do you know when they are serious? Most of the time it's just a cry for help."

Dr. Rimm's answer: "If and when kids see anything that suggests violence, they should be encouraged to report the problem at school or at home. While many of them may be empty threats or kids just fooling around, adults should take such threats seriously. They may be last cries for help."

Last year Facebook launched a program aimed at helping prevent suicides, letting friends alert Facebook when users express suicidal thoughts.

So what can you do? Talk to your kids about social media in general, and Facebook in particular. If you're not already on Facebook, it's time to join so you can friend them and see what's going on in their lives.

Common Sense Media offers these tips for talking to teens about Facebook:

• Talk to your teens about controlling their information. Encourage them to be selective about what they share by customizing the recipients of their posts. Activities on Facebook, including the applications teens use and games they play, can be viewed by others.
• Use strict privacy settings. Review all of the options on your privacy settings page. Facebook's default settings tend to keep information public until a user makes it private (although Facebook is a little stricter with minors' accounts). "Friends Only" is a good choice for most items, but you can be even more selective.
• Set rules about what's appropriate to post. No sexy photos, no drinking photos, no photos of them doing something that could hurt them in the future. Teens also need to be thoughtful about their status updates, wall posts, and comments on friends' posts. Remind them that once they post something, it's out of their hands.
• If in doubt, take it out. Use the "Remove Post" button to take down risky posts.
• Encourage teens to self-reflect before they self-reveal. Teens are very much in the moment and are likely to post something they didn't really mean. Work with them on curbing that impulse. Teach them to ask themselves why they're posting something, who will be able to read it, and whether it could be misunderstood or used against them later.
• Choose your battles. You'll see the good, the bad, and the truly unfathomable. If you don't want your teens to unfriend you, don't ask them about every transgression. Keep it general.
• Be a model friend. Remember that your teens can see what you post, too. Model good behavior for your teens, and keep your own digital footprint clean.

What other advice would you offer parents and concerned peers? Let us know in the comments.

Image courtesy of iStockphoto, Pinopic