viernes, 25 de enero de 2013

Internet Boldly Uses the Force on Star Wars, Star Trek Memes

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away ... It is a period of civil war, rebel spaceships boldly go where no man has gone before."

The worlds of Star Wars and Star Trek collided Thursday when rumors beamed out that Trek director J.J. Abrams would direct the new Disney-back Star Wars Episode VII. The nerd world hadn't witnessed an explosion this big since Luke Skywalker destroyed the Death Star.

The Internet rushed to share its vision of what an Abrams-helmed Star Wars might look like. Think William Shatner sweet talking Wookiees and new, more spandex-style uniforms for Stormtroopers.

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  1. 1. Androids

    Yes, androids are dangerous, they'll inevitably revolt and kill us all, blah blah blah. But let's not forget the true heroes of Star Wars -- C-3PO and R2-D2. The droid duo saved their human companions and the galaxy itself on multiple occasions. At least, R2 did. That feisty little bucket was fiercely loyal, full of gizmos and had a universal port for accessing every computer terminal in the galaxy (except maybe Lightning connectors). Meanwhile, C-3PO speaks 6 million languages. He's a walking, talking universal translator and his storytelling skills (and general harmlessness) would make him a hit with kids (and Ewoks).

    Image courtesy of Flickr, Andres Rueda

    Ai

  2. 2. Mechanical Limbs

    Spoiler Alert: When Luke was "disarmed" at the end of The Empire Strikes Back, it could have been a debilitating, rebellion-ending injury. But thanks to the subtly miraculous technology of his universe, he had 10 fingers again within 10 minutes. Aside from the vanity glove he wore in Return of the Jedi, and the fact that he was probably a wicked efficient high-fiver after that, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

    Also, let's not forget that Darth Vader, who bested Luke in lightsaber combat, was more machine than man. Pretty spry for a metal guy. Wouldn't it be nice if injured veterans and victims of disfiguring accidents could count on bionic limbs to make them whole again?

    Image courtesy of Flickr, euthman

    Robothand

  3. 3. Lightsabers

    "An elegant weapon for a more civilized age." The lightsaber is the most captivating and enduring creation of the Star Wars saga. Yeah, they're cool. But come on. Do we really need them? Earthlings haven't fought wars with swords in a while. And the last thing we'd want to give a sci-fi superfan is a white-hot blade that can cut through anything. There are dozens of lightsaber battles on YouTube, and no one had to worry about getting cut in half in the process of filming.

    But how's this for elegant and civilized? Last year, a research team at the University of Texas at Austin debuted a tiny, laser-based cutting tool. The device, which drew comparisons to the Skywalker weapon of choice, may someday replace scalpels. Years of clinical trials separate it from mass production, but aspiring Jedi should take note: you will think about medical school.

    Image courtesy of Flickr, Chris Makarsky

    Lightsaber

  4. 4. Vaporators

    Maybe not the most glamorous tech in the series, but the moisture farm where Luke Skywalker grew up would be a modern miracle. The future Jedi and his family made a living on a desert world by harvesting excess moisture out of the air. Think of the work that could be done to combat drought with real-world moisture vaporators.

    A researcher at the Swinburne University of Technology in Melbourne clearly had the same idea; he developed his own vaporator system that could be used to irrigate plants in the harshest deserts on Earth. By lowering the temperature of moisture-rich air, his simple system collects condensation and creates water. No word yet on its programming language, but we can assume it will be very similar to binary load lifters in most respects.

    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons, Veronique Debord

    Vaporators
  5. Holograms

  6. 6. Speedy Space Travel

    We know, traveling through hyperspace isn't exactly like dusting crops. But is it too much to ask for at least a Millennium Falcon prototype by 2020? There are 17 billion Earth-sized planets in our galaxy alone. Shouldn't we try to check them out?

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    Falcon
  7. Hover
  8. Carbonite

  9. 9. Battle Droids

    Of all the tech in Star Wars, we probably need the least innovation in the cause of actually making war. Drones are already fighting our battles from the skies. Would it be even better to put metal boots on the ground? The battle droids from The Phantom Menace were played for comedic effect, but it's not hard to imagine the U.S. would phase out human soldiers in favor of droids if that technology were available. What if we could go to war without risking American lives? It certainly sounds like a better idea than breeding an army of expendable clones, like in Episode II.

    Image courtesy of Flickr, steevithak

    Battledroid

  10. 10. Super Microscopes

    In Episode I, we all learned that the Force was in fact not hokey religious nonsense, but hokey science-based nonsense. Tiny, microscopic organisms called midi-chlorians were at the root of the mystical energy field. The more midi-chlorians you have, the better your chances of cultivating your Force powers. Makes sense, right? The Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn had a handy little device for measuring midi-chlorians. So why can't we have one of those to test our own Jedi-ness? And, uh, do other science stuff too.

    Image courtesy of Flickr, euthman

    Microscope

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