20 WTF New Year’s Resolutions

Ringing in 2013 properly requires a few things: bottom-shelf champagne, "I survived the apocalypse" t-shirts, excessive sequins and -- most importantly -- New Year's resolutions that may or may not last beyond February.

You promise to lose weight or quit smoking or stop stalking your ex on Facebook, but what about those people that shoot for a slightly different goal in the new year? Sometimes these resolution-makers come up with brilliant challenges and other times -- well, ummm -- they share goals that are more "WTF?" than an adult dressed like the New Year's baby.

1.

New Years revolution- Stop using my cat as an excuse for a boyfriend

— Laura Leigh Gedeon (@Laurallg22) December 28, 2012

2.

New Year's Revolution: to stop fancying a slice of buttered bread with every meal.

— Freya(@FuzzCookies) December 31, 2012

3.

My New Years resolution is to never by accident walk in on my dad cleaning the shower naked ever again

— lauren brady (@laurenabrady7) December 31, 2012

4.

My 2013 New Year's resolution? Have less hairy nipples and more hairy armpits.

— jimzwall (@jimzwall) December 31, 2012

5.

My New Years resolution is to get an EZ bake oven and make weed brownies

— LURK $PICE (@XANAXDREAMS) December 29, 2012

6.

My New Years resolution is to just try meth once, I'm not going to end up like that guy.

— Richie Holiday(@RichieHoliday) December 31, 2012

7.

New Year's Resolution: Avoid employing my strikingly-decent impression of Mickey Mouse's voice when having sex

— Just Andy (@LeeryLeary) December 27, 2012

8.

New Years Resolution: Clean sex toys every day.

— Delores Butters (@wooloolooloo9) December 31, 2012

9.

So New Years resolution: never ask my drug dealer how her life has been recently unless I have an hour to spend hearing about it

— Amy Wears Prada (@Sexii_AMY) December 31, 2012

10.

new years resolution- don't smoke weed at school

— Nick Shotorbani (@nickshotorbani) December 31, 2012

11.

Last year I made a resolution to think with my vagina more and that lead to me getting fired this year so I'm gonna roll with that again

— elle rodeo (@elleluminium) December 27, 2012

12.

New Year's resolution: become more of a recluse, wear paper towels as mittens

— samantharrr (@65thvictor) December 31, 2012

13.

new years resolution: leave my dog alone

— sarie (@electrashart) December 31, 2012

14.

My new year's resolution is to randomly sew one sequin onto every piece of clothing I own.

— Sea Lion Sea (@sealionsea) December 26, 2012

15.

My new years revolution is to be able to finish a burrito fromChipotle

— morgan ring (@ring_morgan) December 31, 2012

16.

Eat more Applebee's RT @_maln You all set a New Year's resolution?

— California James (@WTF_ant) December 28, 2012

17.

my new year's resolution? 1600x1200. RT if you love justin bieber and god

— Austin Greene (@Grizzy_Greene) December 31, 2012

18.

My new year resolution is to discover how I woke up naked cuz I'm sure I had clothes on when I went to sleep ;_; good morning.. //yawn

— ROBBY ?(´?? ) (@iFyre) December 31, 2012

19.

My resolution is to find someone to kiss besides my dog. twitter.com/JessieeeGirl/s…

— Jessie Gallagher (@JessieeeGirl) December 31, 2012

20.

My New Years resolution is I start snapchatting more pictures of my poop to people.

— Thomas Grime (@tommygatz87) December 31, 2012

1. Find a Baby

   There's got to be one crawling around somewhere. What's cuter than kissing a baby's fat cheek?

   Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images

   

2. Put a Bird on It

   Polly want a kiss?

   Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images

   

3. Use a Mirror

   Loving yourself is so 2013.

   Photo courtesy of Flickr, jenny818

   

4. Blow a Kiss

   Just say that you can't choose one person, because you want to share your New Year's kiss with everyone.

   Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images

   

5. Why the Long Face?

   Find someone to cheer up at the stroke of midnight with a big ole smooch.

   Photo by Mark Dadswell/Getty Images

   

6. Sneak up On Someone Unexpected

   Image courtesy of Flickr, DavidDennisPhotos.com

   

7. Be Creative

   How you ring in the New Year is up to you -- it's all an illusion.

   Photo courtesy of Flickr, Pedronchi

   

8. Your Car

   Hey, you spent a lot of money on that thing, might as well show it some love.

   Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images

   

9. Times Square Ball

   Anyone brave enough to venture out to Times Square on New Year's Eve deserves this. Tell Carson Daly I sent you.*

   (*Note: the author of this post has never even met Carson Daly, but they used watch a lot of TRL.)

   Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images

   

10. Stanley Cup

    Why not? Everyone else is doing it.

    Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

    

11. The Ground

    Perks of this include: There's plenty to go around, you don't even have to ask and you can walk all over it without things getting weird later.

    Photo by Robert Laberge/Getty Images

    

12. Dogs Will Always Love You

    Just don't let him slip any tongue.

    Photo courtesy of Flickr, Cordey

    

13. There's Always Chocolate

    A moment on the lips...whatever, this little guy won't let you down.

    Photo courtesy of Flickr, slgckgc

    

14. Kiss Your Screen

    You're welcome.

    Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images

    

Image Credit: Mashable composite. Photos via iStockphoto, Adventure_photo and Seanicer