Tech Etiquette to Remember for Valentine’s Day

Here's the good news: Picking up a cellphone on a Valentine's Day date doesn't mean you'll be forever cursed into the single life. Here's the bad news: Picking up a cellphone on a Valentine's Day date may mean you'll be forever cursed into the single life.

There are no steadfast rules to abide by when it comes to technology use and the dating world, especially the dates that fall on Cupid's day. Since the rules of our world have so fully blurred the lines between plugged in and unplugged life, many wonder which category dating falls into.

One opinion has rose to the forefront: technology and dating do not mix. It might be a great tool to find your date, with a dating website or app, but once you meet the person it should be hands off the cellphone and hands on with the other person. But contrary to popular advice, Robert Weiss, author of Closer Together, Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and The Internet On Sex, Intimacy and Relationships, says technology is not the damnation of dating. Like most things in life, it really all depends on who you are and who the person is.

So while we can't provide you with faultless axioms to live your love life by, we can give you basic guidelines that can make sure you your Valentine's Day is a happier occasion.

Image via iStockphoto, sturti.

Do: Communicate

Much like with every other aspect of dating, communication is key when it comes to tech use — especially on a first date. Since the first date is your first opportunity to understand the other person and the other person getting to know you, strive to be yourself. You don't want to leave your cellphone home for the first time in four years only to feel awkward, lost and craving to take some Instagram shots.

Weiss says a simple question at the start of the date like "Hey, I usually check in on Foursquare everywhere I go. Is it OK if I do that now?" will help set boundaries immediately. If the other person seems uncomfortable at the thought, you can back off. But you never know, the other person may feel at ease knowing they can now also Instagram dinner and your shared love of social media could eventually become a shared interest in your relationship.

Don't: Take It Too Far

No, we don't mean in the bedroom. We mean with the phone. If your date communicates that they are fine with your Foursquare check-in, don't take that to mean "I can now text three of my friends, answer a work email and make a quick phone call to my roommate to see if she DVR'ed the latest Girls episode." Don't let your tech overtake your attention at any point. Make sure you are still engaged in your current activities and whatever you do on your phone is quick.

Image via iStockphoto, pearleye .

Do: Engage in Public Displays of Affection Online

Yes, you heard it right. Weiss says that if you are in a committed, long-term relationship, then it could be nice to share that love on social networks. Whether it's Instagramming your Valentine's Day present or changing your Facebook status, a simple online gesture could be sweet especially on Valentine's Day when PDA is mildly more acceptable.

Don't: Jump The Gun

If you aren't in a committed, long-term, stable relationship don't take any PDA to any online space. At the end of the day, changing your Facebook status to "Having so much fun with my Smoochie-Poochie. Can't wait to spend every Valentine's Day forever with him" on your second date is embarrassing for him and for you if things end before you planned. It's not going to be fun having to let everyone in your network know your Smoochie-Poochie is no longer in your life.

Image via iStockphoto, domin_domin.

Do: Give The Gift of Time or Tech

Sometimes couples who are married or have been dating for longer periods of time will fall into a rut with their tech use. Either there is always a hands-off-the-phone policy or an anything goes mindset. For Valentine's Day, Weiss suggets switching things up. If you're part of a couple where you are the one constantly engaged with a cellphone, give your signifcant other the gift of your undivided attention and leave your phone at home. Or if your one and only is a Twitter addict, spend Valentine's Day reading and responding to her tweets. Showing that you will leave your comfort zone to enter theirs and take interest in one of their passtimes can be a bonding opportunity.

Don't: Push It

While it might be tempting to ask your Valentine for tech freedom on a date as a gift, it could really come off as insulting. If your date is really uncomfortable with the idea, then just accept that dating time is not phone time and drop the subject. Weiss says this is usually true of "digital immigrants," a.k.a. people usually over 35, who find technology to undoubtedly be intrusive in the dating world. Forcing tech use on them could cause bigger problems later that no one wants to deal with on Valentine's Day.

Image via iStockphoto, exdez.

Do: Use Apps to Your Advantage

Not all of us have a beau or gal-pal to spend V-Day with, but that doesn't mean you have to spend it alone. The plethora of dating apps mean that you can make it much easier to find plans for the holiday. But if you are going the app option, Weiss reminds it's crucial to be safe and not make sure to meet new people in public places. Or opt for something like Grouper which sets up group dates so you can meet new people with the comfort of a few friends by your side.

Don't: Be Rash

Apps like Grindr or OkCupid may make it easier to find someone, and while they don't promise long-lasting love, they are always an option. But Weiss says apps make temptation that much easier and sometimes a decision made when you feel sad (especially on a day devoted to love) might be something you regret on Feb. 15. Weiss suggests instead of using tech to fill a void on Valentine's Day, just have fun with some friends or don't make any plans at all so you don't fall into the app trap.

What other rules do you have when it comes to tech and dating?

Main image via iStockphoto, cassp.